Growing up in church, I learned that our bodies are temporary. I somewhat understood that but not fully. As I've gotten older my body is beginning to not work like it used to, and I have begun to understand more. I can't do handstands anymore because my back will hurt for the next week. And back bends are completely out of the question. And Last night as I lay awake thinking and being frustrated with my body, I got it even more. My body is not me. It just where I live for now.
I look forward to the day when I don't have to put up with a body that doesn't work right. But for now I have to put up with the issues. I know that as I get older there will be more problems. But today the problems seem big and hard to deal with. After a second miscarriage, I am frustrated with my body. My body that can't seem to carry a pregnancy past the first trimester without medical help.
I understand that God is in control and has a plan. I just wish it all could be easier. But as a friend who is battling cancer reminded me, someday we will see the victory in all this pain.
So as I move forward in this flawed body, pray for me. Pray for Lance and I as we continue in our journey to try to have children. Pray that the doctors can figure out a plan for my flawed body. Also, please pray for my friend Jen who has 3 small children and is battling cancer. You can read about her journey at http://jenmcmanus.blogspot.com/ and you can read the letters her husband is writing to her through her journey at http://letterstojen.com/
